Jan 272002

Ok, So lets try and label it… Is it love? desire? attraction? feelings? What makes us want to be with another person? What makes us compelled to spend time with that person (even small amounts that are dished out like food to the hungry) What does one do to gauge anothers response? How does one feel when they finally find out that the person they like and care about had no likewise feelings for them? Can one juggle friendship, ones feelings and rejection? I hate to sit and think that it’s not the fear of being rejected that puts me at a pause, but the fear of what that person will say good or bad. Think about it, your feelings, your heart, your very soul and well being are just thrown out on the table like playing cards when you ask a person if they share the feelings you have. Isn’t that just to much to gamble with?

You can ask yourself all you want, sit there contemplating will you or wont you. But it all comes down to how you feel, how much your willing to bet, and maybe lose

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. Hell, 99% of the time you will lose that’s a given, trust me.. Iit feels like ‘ve lost so much lately. Anyways sometime I can get side tracked… where was I?? Oh yeah, I’m just feeling bored and a bit lonely right now.. perhaps it’s the mid winter almost early spring blues. Could be all the work I’m doing.. hell I can be there’s a lot to do with all the work I’m doing.. but I”m sure I’ll be ok.. hell I know I will..

I’m headed back to Florida for 10 days.. a much needed break from all this work crap and being tired.. wish me luck, wish me something


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